Why Relationships Matter
I hate the word “networking.” Replace that with Relationship Building and you'll immediately approach this in a better way.
The students who succeed in recruiting aren't the ones treating this like a check-the-box exercise. They're curious, long-term relationship builders who genuinely want to get to know people and learn from their experiences. They ask authentic questions. They listen and engage with the answers. They send thank you notes. And most importantly, they stay in touch over many years.
Relationship Mindset
Imagine if someone asks you for help: are you more likely to go out of your way to help the person you've spoken to once or the person you've known for years? Each time we help someone, we are putting our own reputation on the line (at least a little bit), so we want to feel confident that the person we recommend will reflect well on us. Naturally, we can vouch for them much more authentically if we actually know them. We can also be more confident they will follow through if we've seen them do so in the past.
The same applies when you're asking for help. Professionals will be most inclined to help someone they've gotten comfortable with over time. It's hard to get meaningful help if you're reaching out at the last minute versus taking a longer-term approach to building relationships.
So the time to start building and deepening relationships is now. And rather than thinking about conversations in terms of how they may help with your near-term internship search, think about new conversations as the start of (hopefully) many-year relationships.
Additionally, you should think broadly across the industry. Don't just focus on the specific places you think you want to work. Build relationships across different firms and groups and do your best to learn in each conversation. This will not only help you discover more about what is out there but will also help you come across as more prepared in any interviews because you'll have a better and broader perspective. Plus each person you speak with likely has more friends doing a wide variety of things, and you never know when one conversation may lead to the next and help you arrive at the exact place you'd like to go.
All of this said, you may not have an easy naturally-flowing conversation with each person you meet. People are busy and you may catch them at a moment where they are distracted. Do your best to engage in the conversation and don't take it personally if it did not feel like the best conversation. Nonetheless, follow up and thank them for their time and consider staying in touch - many relationships build more ease over time.
Leverage Warm Intros
Warm introductions are much more likely to lead to conversations than cold outreach. And most students overlook how broad their network already is, even if they have no family / close friends in the industry. Start by brainstorming a list of all the people who already like you. Think about high school teachers, friends' parents, friends' older siblings, upperclassmen, professors. Many of these people know someone in finance somewhere.
Ask for Help
“I'm trying to learn about careers in finance. Is there anyone you think it would make sense for me to talk to?” Take those conversations even if it's not immediately obvious how they'll help. And always thank that person for the introduction, both when they make it and after you have the conversation.
If the person you are asking for help knows many people within finance, then give them more specific guidance on the types of people you're hoping to speak with and the types of things you're hoping to learn about. They might be more likely to think of someone when the scope is narrower than when it's very open-ended. Additionally, if you'll be in a major city in person, you could ask whether your contact knows anyone in that city that it might make sense for you to try to meet while you're there.
Thank You Notes
Thank people when they make introductions, then follow up after the conversation: “I talked with Sarah and really enjoyed the conversation. Thank you again for making that introduction.” This makes them feel appreciated and increases the likelihood that they will help you again. It also makes it easy for them to reach out and thank their friend for speaking to you.
Cold Outreach Is Also Important
Volume is important. However, you still need to try to remain tailored in your messaging. You can experiment with different messaging and try a mix of direct emails, LinkedIn messages, and X DMs.
Alumni
Start with upperclassmen at your school, work up to recent alumni, then older alumni. Each conversation builds confidence and knowledge for the next conversation.
Take a Sequential Approach
Don't email multiple people in the same group simultaneously - it feels lazy and impersonal. Build one relationship, then ask for an introduction to the next person.
Follow Up
Don't be afraid to email the same person a second or even third time (just space it out a bit), since it's easy to miss seeing or responding to an email when you're a busy professional. In fact, some people will wait to see if you email them a second time as that itself is a signal of more persistence than the person who just emails once.
Use Each Conversation to Expand Your Network
Ask: “Is there anyone else you'd recommend I talk with as I learn more about this?”
Research
Do real research before reaching out. People help those who have something in common with them or who've clearly put in effort. Look at their background, understand their path, find connection points. For example, when reaching out to alumni, find common threads: “I noticed you were also in the entrepreneurship club” shows you've done homework and creates immediate connection.
It's always easy for the person on the receiving end to tell if you've done your homework, both in your outreach email and in your conversation with them. It will feel to them like you didn't have any respect for their time if you didn't do some basic research.
Conversations
Ask People About Themselves
You should introduce yourself and share your background briefly at the start of your conversation. Then you should ask them about their experiences and also about their advice for you. Most people generally enjoy these topics and find them easy to speak about. If you've done your research, you may want to ask about specific things that caught your attention in their background.
Ask Short, Open-Ended Questions
Always ask short, open-ended questions so that they can take the conversation in any direction they'd like. You're more likely to hear interesting things from them if the questions are open-ended.
Have Genuine Curiosity
The worst thing someone can do is appear to not be interested in the answer to a question. You can tell when someone's just waiting to ask their next scripted question instead of listening and it drives the person who is answering crazy.
Engage in Real Conversation
Ask follow-up questions based on what they actually said. Show you're present and engaged, not performing “networking.”
Don't Try to Sound Smart
A simple question can be meaningful if you care about the answer. Don't try to ask “smart-sounding” questions. Ask questions where you genuinely care about hearing the answer. Avoid asking questions you could have easily looked up answers to. If you do your research and care about learning from the conversation, this should actually be easy.
Read the Room
If you're not sure if there's time for another question, you can always say “I'm so grateful for your time and don't want to take up too much of it. I wanted to check if you have a few more minutes before asking more questions”.
Show Gratitude
Thank them for making time at both the start and end of the call.
Tactical Execution
Get Timing Right
Be clear about time zones: “Does 2pm EST / 11am PST work for you?”
You Handle the Logistics
Send the calendar invite with all details. For calls, include both phone numbers and make it clear you'll call them. For Zoom, test your account beforehand and make sure you have everything set up correctly. Also make sure your auto-notetaker does not join the call.
Create the Right Environment
Good audio, quiet space, phone on silent. Dress professionally (nice shirt/sweater, no hoodie). On video, consider lighting and background. Blur your background.
Send Same-Day Thank You Notes
Even on Friday. Keep it simple: “Thank you for making time to talk with me. I really enjoyed hearing about [fill in something from the conversation]. I look forward to staying in touch.”
Be Responsive
Make sure you're checking your email and LinkedIn messages frequently to be able to reply quickly. You should always try to respond right away. That includes evenings and weekends (don't schedule send for Monday morning - finance professionals check emails on the weekends). Make sure emails aren't getting lost in junk/spam.
Be Professional and Own Your Mistakes
If you make a mistake on a calendar invite, or timezone, or missing an email, just own your mistake and apologize. Don't say you were having email challenges or any other kind of excuse.
Stay In Touch
Stay Organized
Use a spreadsheet or simple personal CRM to track conversations and follow-ups. This shows you care enough to maintain relationships properly.
Stay Connected Without Being Overwhelming
A few ideas for potential email follow-ups:
- Update them after internships or school milestones
- Send holiday wishes
- Share relevant articles or podcasts that you think they might enjoy
- Thank them again for past advice when something they said is helpful to you
- Quick personal things (e.g. a sports team they like won an important game)
Find time for the occasional call or in-person meeting (frequency should be tailored to the relationship).
I think a lot of people are worried about bothering their mentors and so they err towards less communication. However, think of a time you've mentored or helped someone younger than you. Chances are you just wanted to hear from them and feel like you were helpful in some way. So don't overthink it or feel like you need something profound to say in order to reach out. Usually simple notes/updates go a long way.